Changing Beliefs and Emotions

“You have great resources of talent and ability locked up, within you, just waiting to be expressed.”  Bob Proctor

Changing beliefs emotionsThe other day I found myself starting to get stressed about an upcoming deadline and doing some unfamiliar tasks that I feared would take too much time or end up with me feeling overwhelmed. I usually dislike doing anything remotely technical online and I often get frustrated at the length of time it takes me to figure out these things.

I could feel my emotions changing and my anxiety growing.

I knew that it was important to pay attention to it, but also to get past it. I also knew that the answer was to stop delaying the task and get started as I had a limited amount of time to get it done. I disliked the feeling of dread surfacing in me, so

I realized that I needed to use the tools I had learned over the years to shift my energy.

Energy Therapy

I started with saying positive affirmations, but the feeling wouldn’t go away completely. I then began doing EFT (emotional freedom technique) and started tapping on the various points saying to myself my fear of not being able to do these things.

As I tapped,

I noticed the layers of my fears uncovering an even deeper fear of failure or not doing the job well. I then discovered an even deeper fear of being seen

 

(this task involved marketing myself) and fearing that I wouldn’t be able to deliver what people were looking for.

As I tapped further, I noticed myself calming down and the statements surfacing began to change to more positive beliefs that I could do this and that I was capable.

IMG_1708Prayer

For added support, as I sat down to the computer, I said a prayer, asking my guides and angels to help me accomplish what I needed to do with grace and ease. Prayer always has an immediate calming affect on me. It grounds and centers me in the moment.

 

Staying Present to Your Emotions

By facing my fears of inadequacy rather than ignoring them or pushing them aside, I was able to work more efficiently and calmly. Much like Bob Proctor’s quotation above, I began to unlock the truth of my potential.

Shifting Beliefs

Like the clients I coach, I use these tools to shift my beliefs and stay present with my feelings. As I encountered some minor challenges, I was able to search for the answers online and resolve them easily. Do I always remember to use these tools? No, I don’t and I can get stuck or reduce my capacity for flowing through the moment and feeling true joy.

A Shift in Energy

IMG_1746

It’s like the saying goes, we teach what we need to learn, and I needed more practice to shift my beliefs. In the end, I finished my tasks without feelings of overwhelm or frustration by remembering to connect within.

Afterwards, as I looked at the result, I actually felt inspired, relieved and encouraged that I was taking a small step toward accomplishing my goals.

 

I could feel my energy lighten and I actually felt joy.

Would I have felt this if I had proceeded to forge ahead with my anxious feelings and dread? Not likely, because I’ve done this many times before and even though I get things done, I often end up feeling frustrated and stressed.

I started realizing how often I push myself to do things that aren’t second nature for me.

 

I was forgetting to ask for divine assistance.

It was such a relief to feel joy and it was revealing to me how I sometimes block my own potential with my fears and doubts. When I do this, I notice that my energy diminishes and I’m not tapped into Source; I’ve blocked the flow.

 

I’m learning to be more patient and loving with myself and as I do, I’m seeing how I’m letting in more joy.

The amazing thing is that joy really is there always waiting for us, but it sometimes is disguised as what seems like a challenge.

 

Your Purpose and Destiny

Life Purpose and DestinyI’m reading a very insightful book by Simon Chokoisky called The 5 Dharma Types: Vedic Wisdom for Discovering Your Purpose and Destiny. While I’ve read countless books about personality types and life purpose, this one is particularly helpful and relatable.

My work often involves guiding others in clarifying and validating their purpose and their gifts and incorporating a spiritual perspective about their lives.

The 5 Dharma Types beautifully weaves together an understanding of one’s purpose and natural way of being in the world with practical advice for how best to integrate your dharma in career, health, relationships, and even financial tendencies and needs. The author also includes a self test to help you determine your type.

 

Five types related to our purpose:

the outsider, merchant, educator, laborer, and warrior are all thoroughly described and interrelated throughout the book.

Reading The 5 Dharma Types has given me great insight into myself as well as friends, family and clients. A a salient point he makes is that the United States, a merchant culture, emphasizes economic productivity.

As someone who doesn’t identify as a merchant dharma type, I easily relate to the many clients I have guided and coached over the years who also do not fit easily into the mainstream culture.

 

Understanding more about your unique purpose in the world can give valuable insight into career direction as well as relationships and communication style.

I’m continuously compelled to read books that help me better understand other people, as my work is strongly based in guiding others toward their own joy and fulfillment. This book is an apt reminder to us all to live according to our true nature, to follow our strengths, and to be aware of our opportunities for growth.

Chokoisky states that “helping people find their purpose was crucial in ancient cultures” and I think it is just as crucial today.

 

He emphasizes that our search for God, love and prosperity can be filled by living our dharma and realizing our true essence.

In connecting with the Self we are living our purpose.

If we are living however, out of sync with our true self and natural inclinations it may feel difficult to maintain this connection. As someone who spent many years in my twenties searching for my own dharma, I find it very fulfilling to guide others in knowing their own.

We come into this life with innate gifts and talents honed by life experience and maturity. Nothing is ever wasted, even those times of struggle or pain shape who we are and are becoming.

 

10 Keys to Trusting Divine Guidance

Divine Guidance

Divine Guidance is as natural as listening to our own inner voice. That’s because our inner voice is connected to our divine self.

Most of us may think when we first start opening up to our intuition, spirit guides, angels, or our own soul’s guidance that it is going to be something attention-getting, maybe even awe-inspiring or out-of-this world seeming.

 

More often, our guidance is subtle, like a whisper in our ear, an inner voice, a feeling, a physical sensation, a gut feeling, or a knowing.

 

In actuality, while these things can and do happen, most often

Divine guidance, which includes messages and information from:

  • our own soul
  • Source/God,
  • Higher Self,
  • guides, angels,
  • loved ones on the other side

After 18 years of purposefully following divine guidance in my own life and after doing  many, many readings for others since 2003, I’ve found that intuition or divine guidance is simpler to access than we think.

It was never meant to be something that was difficult or complicated to connect to.

It comes to us in those quiet moments of our day, when we may be driving, doing chores or tasks that allow our minds to take a rest and go within.

 

We have access to it 24/7.

 

It feels like our own inner voice because it is. It doesn’t come from outside ourselves, it comes from within our own being.

The difference between between guidance that is from our ego and from spirit is how it makes us feel. Our ego compares, worries, and distrusts.

Our spirit uplifts, inspires, loves, and brings calm and inner peace.

Divine Guidance

10 Keys to distinguish Divine Guidance

1.  It is direct and to the point. We don’t have to look far and wide. The guidance is on a wavelength we can hear when we slow down and listen within.

2.  It uplifts, inspires and encourages. It never criticizes or promotes worry or self-doubt.

3.  It provides practical suggestions we can actually do. Even if we are given a vision of something that may take several years to materialize, it gives us the next doable step to take, such as make contact with someone, read a book, make a phone call, sign up for a class, start writing, etc.

4.  We notice that when we follow it, we eventually start feeling better and our lives improve.

5.  The guidance will suggest ways to treat ourselves well, treat others as equals, and do what we love.

6.  It points us in the direction that keeps us in alignment with our soul’s purpose, raise our vibration, and are in the natural flow of our lives. We aren’t struggling to make ourselves be something. We allow ourselves to be.

7.  It highlights our own natural gifts, talents and skills. True guidance suggests that we continue using our gifts in ways that benefit others. It doesn’t encourage us to seek fame or riches, but it does encourage us to follow our heart and trust.

8.  It enhances our lives and theirs. Our true guidance focuses on improving our own lives and on serving others with love.

9.  Divine guidance encourages us to make needed changes for the better. Even if we feel afraid or uncertain, we are encouraged to take steps to get us unstuck, transform ourselves, and change situations or relationships that are not for our highest good.

10. We feel a certain rightness or truth about the guidance. There is ultimately a feeling of peace and harmony that comes with higher guidance. If we feel fear about following it, it’s a sign that inner blocks need healing and releasing to help us take these steps. We do not need to be perfect or have our lives in perfect order before we follow our guidance.

Remember, the more you allow yourself to be quiet within and listen, the more you will hear divine guidance.

We all have equal access to it. By taking time to reflect and quiet the doubting and critical mind, we flip the on switch like a light filling a darkened room. Our own divine guidance then lights the way forward.

Communicating with Loved Ones on the Other Side

photo_1(1)I sometimes hear from people that they miss their loved ones so much and they wish they could hear from them, but they are not receiving their messages or their loved ones aren’t communicating with them.

I wanted to share with you some tips about how your loved one may be communicating with you.

First, know that when we are very emotional, it can be difficult for them to get through to us.

One reason it is suggested that we meditate and ground our energy before communicating directly with spirit is that we are raising our vibration or energy.

Spirit lowers their frequency or vibration to meet ours to make the communication easier.

A frequent way that spirit gets my attention is by affecting my physical energy. I may all of a sudden feel jittery, or feel a heightened sense of my energy, as if I’ve had a lot of caffeine. I find myself focusing within at these times and asking if I am connecting with a spirit. Next I may hear the voice of someone’s loved one who passed over and wishes to relay a message.

Sending us thoughts is a common way for spirit to communicate with us. This is a form of clairaudience or inner hearing. The spirit talks with us through our own inner voice. I often will also get a feeling of the spirit’s personality and the tone of the voice may feel quieter or more intense depending on the spirit’s temperament.

At a public reading in December I heard inwardly both brother and skateboarding. Later I understood why. The couple before me had lost a son when he was a boy and he wanted to validate the circumstances of his passing as well as give a message to his brother.

Our loved ones may also come to us in our dreams with a visitation. They may appear younger or more vibrant than when they passed, but often the dream has a very real or vivid quality to it.

Other ways spirit can communicate is through a song we may hear on the radio, a bird or butterfly, electronics or lights, or special objects that had meaning to them or us when they were in the physical.

If you find yourself suddenly thinking of a loved one who has passed, it may very well be that he/she is trying to let you know of his/her presence or wishes to send you a loving or validating message.

While our loved ones continue to grow and develop while in spirit, they are also very aware of us and often wish to help or guide us in our lives. Their love for us is eternal and their understanding of life and what is most important becomes even clearer to them on the other side with the help of their own spiritual teachers and guides.

Self-Care and Building Your Dream

A common pattern I see in my clients and something I continue to work on myself is over-giving. Many of us in service-based professions have big hearts and a tendency to lose ourselves in relationship with others. We may do this with parents, children, friends, clients, co-workers, intimate partners, and others. We may enjoy giving but sometimes give to the point that we lose sight of ourselves and our own desires.

We fill our time with meeting other people’s needs or demands but fail to give our self the same time, care and attention. We may even feel depleted or resentful and wonder why we feel the lack of support in our lives. Meanwhile time goes on and our dreams sit waiting for us to pay attention.

The first step to making our dreams a reality is to create time in our lives when we are not always doing or giving or even being with others. Taking quiet time to go within and get comfortable with ourselves is key. Changing a life-long pattern isn’t always easy, but our awareness of thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve us connects us more deeply to our inner longing for peace and authenticity.

Spirit has given us multiple ways to connect with our soul’s desire for growth. I am so blessed in my work to witness this whether it be through a reading, a past life regression, or the transformation a client undergoes in her coaching sessions. Spirit and our own soul has endless ways to reach us and support us on our path.

Every time I’ve done a mediumship reading, after validation is given to his or her loved one, the spirit communicating through me begins to bring up areas in that person’s life in need of balance, healing, or attention. Recently a male spirit gave validation of his passing but then went on to speak to the parents about their own career direction and the desire to help his brother with his next steps by talking about his talents. Even on the other side our loved ones in spirit want us to be fulfilled and at peace and attempt to help us.

Giving time and attention to ourselves and our desires is not selfish, it’s liberating. When we fill up with needed time alone to do what we love and care about, we replenish at a deep level. We can give from a grounded and healthy place. We feel more joyful and at ease.

My wish for you after you read this is that you begin to make it a habit to ask yourself, “What would I love to do today or this week?” and begin to do it. If it’s a big dream inside of you, remember that even one small step brings your dream that much closer. Feel the possibility of the universe and your own soul inside of you and know that Spirit guides you, supports you, and encourages you through your own heart’s desires.

Take a few deep breaths in and out, let the mind and the ego subside, feel into your heart chakra at the center of your chest, and allow the heart to speak to you. Listen and receive the message it has for you. Love and Blessings.

Soul Growth and Self-Love

Lately I’ve been preparing for my upcoming Past Life Regression Therapy training in November by reading several books about the healing and therapeutic effects of past life and in between lives regression. By becoming more aware of ourselves as a soul and the many lifetimes we’ve lived, as well as the multidimensional level of the soul, people often heal emotionally, mentally, and at times physically.

Reading these books has me reflecting on my own life and feeling the lingering self-doubts and fears that surface when I consider what lies ahead regarding my purpose and growing my practice. I know it points to a need for greater self-love and compassion for myself as I prepare to grow, change, and challenge myself.

I had a reading myself a year-and-a-half ago that highlighted this theme carried over from other lifetimes and how I still have growth in loving and honoring myself more. I cried deeply after this session, feeling the truth of what was said to me in my body and soul. It was a huge release I wasn’t expecting, but could feel was needed. Loving the self is a theme I see in most of my clients as well. It’s something I suspect many of us on the planet are working through in our lives. The enlightened spiritual teachers say that love is the greatest joy and lesson we are to learn in our lives.

How seemingly simple yet so profound given the early experiences of many of us not to mention the challenges we face in a culture that has long valued the material and the external over depth and authenticity. It is very vulnerable to open our hearts and feel what lies within. We may have had a lifetime(s) of practice learning to be strong in order to protect our wounded self.

It takes courage to be ourselves, follow our heart’s longing and express this in our lives. We may have experienced judgment, criticism, abandonment, or other hurts in our desire to fully be ourselves. Being compassionate with ourselves heals this hurt and brings greater harmony and balance.

I am encouraged by the teachings of many spiritual leaders and teachers who say that now is the time for humanity to embrace the feminine energy and the awareness of respect for nature, our inner selves, and a deeper connection to our intuition and our hearts.

What is calling you at this time? What is prompting you to seek greater depth, meaning, or fulfillment in your life?

Take the time to be alone, get quiet, and listen within. Allow your body and mind to relax with no time pressures, agendas, or to-do lists. Simply be in the moment and allow yourself to feel loved and know that you are guided and supported at all times. The power of the universe flows through you and within you. Take a break today and give yourself the time you need to go within and just be.

If the Shoe Doesn’t Fit, Don’t Wear It

Sometimes we may find that we’re wearing labels given to us by people who couldn’t see our light and our spirit because they couldn’t see their own. Perhaps they were too engulfed in their own pain to even be able to love themselves let alone others. We can know we are taking these labels to heart if we find that we have adopted them and are letting them interfere with our life. It’s like we put on a shoe that never really fit, but we decided to wear it anyway simply because someone gave it to us.

An ill-fitting shoe, however, is uncomfortable and can even cause serious pain. Anyone who has ever had foot pain knows how important it is to have comfortable footwear. These improper labels, much like a poorly suited shoe, can be changed. We may have been wearing these labels as if they define who we are, when in fact they are more indicative of the unhappy person couldn’t see their own light and chose to spread their unhappiness to us. Just as we would never put our children in rigid, inflexible, too tight shoes, it is important that we make sure that our shoes, or how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves is the right fit.

Some examples of labels we may have taken on and worn too long include the following:

-I’m unworthy; I can’t make mistakes; I’m unlovable; I need to try harder; I’m unattractive; I’m not smart; I’m not gifted; I’m not talented; I’m not strong enough; I’m incompetent; I’m shameful; I’m not good enough; I’m not okay if I’m vulnerable or afraid; If only I were: richer, stronger, better looking, more able, had a better job, etc., etc. The list can go on and on because these labels are all about a perceived lack. Someone judged us as lacking and placed conditions on their acceptance of us and we may have chosen to take it to heart and live by these labels as if they were rules or guidelines for how we should behave and live our lives.

When the discomfort gets too great, when we realize how we’ve hurt ourselves by measuring ourselves by impossible standards, we then have a choice. We can continue wearing an ill-fitting shoe, or we can get new ones. Outdated labels are like old shoes. Sometimes we need to give away or even throw away old shoes.

Choose for yourself a new shoe. What quality does this shoe represent for you now? Make sure it’s comfortable and you find it attractive. Step into your new shoes. Walk in them. Stand confidently.  Let others see you in your new shoes. Wear them often. They are yours to keep.

Remember, you may try on another pair at any time.

Building Our Spiritual Foundation

Strengthening our connection to Spirit is an ongoing practice for most of us. It’s about reminding ourselves that we are more than what has happened or is happening to us. Knowing ourselves is about standing firm in the realization that our true self, our Self, is more than the worries, anxieties, and fears of our ego. The external circumstances of our lives are transitory states. Our Self is the ground, the core of our being. This Self cannot be harmed or destroyed. It is our direct connection to Source and it is the solid foundation upon which we can live with greater peace and presence.

When we center ourselves, get quiet, and calm the ego, we can feel the presence of our Spirit and of Source. By cultivating a regular daily practice of going within to connect to Spirit, we fortify our spiritual Self. It comes more readily to us to connect to our greater Self when we find ourselves out of balance or in tumultuous times. Developing a spiritual connection is like exercise. The more we practice living from our higher nature, the stronger we become. We have the choice to transform our energy in an instant. Our goal is to gather our energy and focus it like a laser beam toward our highest good.

When we live in doubt and fear, we are living in a gray fog, we can’t see through to our solutions and it seems like there is no way out. We lose our sense of direction and our belief in ourselves. However, we are in charge of the forecast. We decide if our day and week will be sunny, partly cloudy, or shrouded and overcast.

Having on hand tools and techniques to shift our energy brightens our inner light. Sometimes it can be challenging to do in the midst of difficult circumstances, when we are engaged in an intense emotional situation. Once we step aside from the event, though, and go within, we can begin to clear ourselves of unwanted emotional baggage that may be lingering and is harmful rather than helpful or even insightful. We can ask ourselves, “What are my true desires? What is the essence of what I am seeking or hoping for? How can I begin to feel this way now?” Sometimes we may discover that we have taken on the emotions of the people around us. It’s also possible that we are interpreting a present situation through the lens of a past event and need to stay present to what is going on now, rather than color the present with past prejudices. In either case, it’s important to release the energies of other people or of the past and clear ourselves so that we can view the situation from a more grounded and objective perspective.

With myself, I’ve noticed that much of the time more patience is needed. I need to give time for things to settle, for my emotions to calm down, for the mental chatter to cease, and for simply, more time to pass. I often need to let go of what I think “should” happen or how things “should” be. I may need to act in the way that seems best, and trust that in time, I’ll see the greater reason or lesson behind what has transpired.

For much of my life I wanted my childhood family to be different. I wished for more intimacy, understanding, maturity, compassion, and so forth from certain family members. It was only when I changed how I thought or wished things could be, that my feelings began to shift more positively. I realized that what was, was. It wasn’t about longing for what could have been or what I wished would be, but accepting what is. My greater Self knew this, but my personality fought it for many, many years. It seemed so unacceptable to me, so not what I felt could be.

I knew that the shift needed to happen from within me. I needed to strengthen my core, my spiritual foundation, and draw upon this as my source of love, compassion, and acceptance I had been searching for my whole life. It was never up to my family to give it to me, it was up to me to give it to myself. As I began to be even more committed to living this truth, my attitude toward my family changed. I knew that who they were or how they behaved toward me, would not define who I am or how loved I felt. They had their own demons they were struggling with. My job was simply to love them and let go of expectations. I knew this intellectually for many years, but I hadn’t been living it. Once I started living it more fully, I no longer felt as triggered by painful feelings of loss or lack of what I didn’t have. Instead, I became more focused on what I could give myself. I felt much more at peace and able to accept what was true in my life without needing to escape what before had felt painful or lacking. I realized that my outward search for fulfillment needed to stop with me, because that is where true fulfillment lies, within ourselves.

 

Overcoming Fear

Fear can feel like a looming, overwhelming dark cloud that dampens our mood and stops us in our tracks. However, when we look at fear from the light of our heart and our higher self, it is just energy.

We can transmute the energy of fear to the energy of light. Ultimately whatever we do in our lives comes from a place of fear or love. When we come from love, our actions serve others. By focusing on the service aspect of our actions, we can transform fear to love. For example, when we feel anxious or afraid about sharing our gifts more publicly, or to a broader audience, we can feel anxious wondering if we “have what it takes” or “are we qualified to do this work at this level?”. If instead, we focus our thoughts and feelings on those whom we serve, and transmit love from our heart, we are energetically bringing light to our own thoughts.

Our egos place value on what we do with judgments about how much money we make or how many people we serve. Our divine self, however, makes no such judgments. Who is to say that one kind gesture, such as listening to another person with an open heart, is any less significant than speaking to a large audience? When we are about to engage in our work at the next level, whether that be to a larger audience, a more public venue, or at a greater income potential, it is natural for our fears to surface.

The important thing to remember is to do our best, keep our intentions pure, and come from the same place of love and genuineness as if we were volunteering our time with a much cherished group. From this place, we can know we are serving with heart and integrity. And with this intention, our actions are supported with a higher consciousness. It ceases to be about our ego and instead reveals the true essence of what we came here to do: love from a place of openness and sincerity.

Imagine

A friend was telling me about Sylvia Browne’s latest book in which she writes about famous people and their lives in the spirit realm. It mentioned how John Lennon and George Harrison had intended to work together to raise the consciousness of humanity through their music. It just so happended, that on this day my husband had put John Lennon’s cd in the car for me to listen to on our long drive.

On the way home by myself, I put in his cd and listened to Imagine. It brought me back many years ago when I was opening up my spiritual horizons and transitioning to a new phase of my life. I loved my newfound desire to learn all I could about spirituality, metaphysics, and the healing arts, but at the time I didn’t have any friends who shared these interests. It was lonely at times. One night I dreamt that John Lennon was singing Imagine. It was one of those vivid dreams that seemed very real. I woke up to Lennon’s voice in my head singing, “You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.”

I felt so uplifted and encouraged to stay on my path and have faith in my new direction even though I did not see what lie ahead. Further confirmation came later that week when I was rummaging through paper supplies at a local re-usable supply shop in Berkeley. Among the cards and papers I found a bookmark with an image of the earth and several children from around the world holding hands, with the words, We are One, underneath them.

It truly felt like a wonderful gift from Spirit and made me feel I wasn’t so alone in my waking dreams. What are you imagining for yourself? What are your recurring daydreams? Know that these heart murmurings are for a reason and are directing you to your purpose. Know that you are being guided, even if the road ahead seems unclear, or if you are at a crossroads in your life. Spirit will guide you, and your imagination is a powerful way to listen to your guidance.

Do you have a memory of your guides or angels uplifting you? I’d love to hear about it.